"Not everyone can say they've been hit by Amy Winehouse"

Depends on how close you are to Amy Winehouse! Then it's kind of a common thing. But the guy who was elbowed and punched by Amy's skinny little arms at Glastonbury last weekend is stoked on the whole thing. Here's his little story:

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Karma's A Bitch

Amy Winehouse tortured some little kids over ther weekend with some little popsicles. Wavin' em in front of their faces. Teasing the little guys. Karma got the better of her today though. She mystyeriously collapsed in her house and had to be taken to the doctors. See! Don't f*ck with little kids. Or old people, midgets and retards. Heaven hates that shit! You'll end up like Amy:

"Amy was at home this afternoon when she briefly fainted. Fortunately, her manager's assistant was there to stop her falling."

"She quickly recovered and her father Mitch took her to hospital as a precaution. Doctors are unsure of the cause of the incident and Amy is currently undergoing tests."

Last time she'll pick on the little innocent little folks.

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Add A Little Wino To The Pussy

Yeeeah: The Pussycat Dolls are eyeing Amy Winehouse.

HolyMoly: I don't know who The Cheeky Girls are but would like to learn, quick.

Absolutepunk: For a little blood, you get Free VIP Passes to Warped Tour.

Socialitelife: Naomi Campbell is drunk.

Seriouslyomg: Lily Allen gets a Double Double.

Dlisted: George Clooney dumped his girlfriend right after she got a boob job.

POTP: Katherine Heigl says pull out!

Popbytes: Jamie Lynn Spears is crying. Waaaaaaaa!

IDWYL: Heather Locklear is drunk or nuts.

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Pure Chivalry!

Blake Fielder-Civil thought some guy, Pete Doherty, was sleeping with his chick, Amy Winehouse, so he offered to pay some guy $40,000 to beat his ass. Talk about standing up for your chick!! Why try and fight the guy yourself when you can just take some of your wifes money and pay some other guy do it.

The guy who almost did it is an ex-bouncer who shared a cell with Blake. He was in on murder charges but was released with no crime. Now's he's just cashing out by selling the story to The Sun:

“We were sitting in my cell and he said, ‘If you get Doherty for me I’ll give you £20,000.’ He kept saying, ‘Can you arrange it?’ and telling me to get some guys to his house. He knew the address. He said, ‘Amy’s obviously sleeping with him.'"

Well obviously. But it's Pete Doherty. Women can't really hold theselves back don't get all pissed about it.

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Keep Them Away!

Those kids are going to get impetigo!! Keep the children away from Amy Winehouse. Never let the kiddies touch the Wino. Even come close! Last thing we want is kids with contact highs or a disease. And the contact high will suck! They need to keep her locked up for a while because these Brits have a history of speading diseases that really suck. Amy's not an anomaly. How do you think these nasty things always start?? The brits are filthy!

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Same The Mousies!

Sober people do this all the time! Cracked out Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty have found some new friends in little baby mice. And they filmed it! They actually figured out how to do some pretty cool special effects with the camera, which is pretty cool. These hairless mice creep me out way more then the crackheads. Here you go:

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Love Is In The Air!

Pete Doherty landed the sweetest kiss on Amy Winehouse last night. So sweet! Amy came to Peter's Freedom Gig, celebrating an early release from her majesty's pleasure.

Of course, following the show Amy hosted an afterparty at her house. And there was much to celebrate! Amy has been recently informed that she will not be prosecuted for the crack video posted on The Sun.

Here's to freedom and getting away with crack!

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"I am a legend. I want to take drugs"

"I am a legend... I want to take drugs" was what Amy Winehouse was screaming in the road the first time she was arrested. Now that she's been released from jail a the second time, there's no way she's all lit up. Yeah right!

Last night, just after she was set free, she was spotted at a gas station at 4am buying magazines and drinks. You need something to pass the night away! It's cold out there!

But you know Wino is fine. You can always tell because her huge nappy mop gets clean. She remembers to take the foil out. It's not stuck in the naps!

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Amy Winehouse Is Busted

Amy Winehouse is in jail - again! The law says she's been caught with an ilegal substance. I'm going with crack. Although it could just be a fat joint she lit up outside of interrogation last time. They hate that shit! Anyways Scotland Yard has something to say:

“A 24-year-old woman of the Camden area has today been arrested in connection with the possession of a controlled drug. She remains in custody.”

Oh damn. That doesn't sound good. Unpleasentness for Winehouse!

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Amy Winehouse On The Bill

Shirts suck! But Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty on one ticket doesn't! Neither does playing poker and drinking drinks in the forest, but anyways Amy has been added to Pete's Royal Albert Hall show, according to some folks in England. Royal Albert Hall is going to be the largest venue Pete has ever headlined. He almost didn't make it, due to the law and jail, but now he will. So will Amy:

“They think playing at such an incredible venue will be a massive two-fingers to their critics - especially in light of their traumatic personal lives.”

Tour, tour, tour.

(source via source and photo source. too many source!) 

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