Ashley Jizzdale Is a Good Way Back

Ok so we're like so far behind it's not even funny. Here's Ashley Tisdale in Maui - which I heard is awesome and really want to check out - on like July 4th. Her boyfriend came to but I cropped him out. Hey! That's the closest I can get to punching him in the neck or something. Plus I think it's mean to punch some guy for going out with his girlfriend. Unless you're drunk! Nah just listen to the reggae and be happy.

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The Tizz Can Run!

Actually I think she's power walking but at first glance it looks like Ashley is flying down the sidewalk. I've noticed lately that Ashley Tisdale seems a lot skinnier then about three months ago when she was in the news all the time. I just assumed she was starving herself since it's easy and you can just lay around all day. Ahhhhhhh laying around. But I guess she actually works out. Alright!

Tizz also just covered five songs from the '80s for a deodorant company. Personally, we hate these songs! The originals. We haven't heard Jizz's lovely renditions. Here's the list:

– Cathy Dennis - “Too Many Walls”
– Whitney Houston - “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)”
– Rick Astley - “Never Gonna Give You Up”
– Cyndi Lauper - “Time After Time”
– Belinda Carlisle - “Heaven is a Place on Earth”

So many good '80s songs. And Rick Astley????

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Everyone Loves The Jizz!

I miss The Jizz!! It's been way too long since I've been able to do an Ashley Tisdale post. Screw this shooting High School Musical thing! Here's Ashley going in for a plastic surgery appointment pilates class yesterday. She should be so stoked right now. She beat Vanessa on Maxim's Hot 100 list by three. Tizz is number 10 without even getting naked on the internet. That's not easy! When you get naked on the internet great things happen to you. Look at Screech after that dirty sanchez. He blew up!

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She Made The List!

Britney Spears made it! It was close but Brit came in at number 100 on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World. I agree. Out of 100 she's on there. Number one of course is Megan Fox. She wears Motley Crue shirts and poses with pigs - I'll toast to that.

A few other eye catchers: Posh Spice is number 99. Somebody at FHM needs to be fired. But nobody really gets Posh anyways. Sexy's in the details, asses!

Heidi Montag is number 44 and Lauren Conrad didn't even make the list. Heidi is hot like a lighter and LC can lose five pounds. So I agree.

Vanessa Hudgens is number 26 and she's barely legal. But that's cool, and Ashley Tisdale didn't make the list. There's going to be some slutting on set of HSM3 tomorrow because you KNOW she's not letting this get away. But like I said, this list is dumb. Tiz is hot. Let it be.

The Olly Girls are on here! WTF! Just because they're skanks doesn't mean they're sexy. There's five chicks downstairs of my place in the bar that look just like them. People bone hookers every night but that doesn't mean they should be on a list!

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Ashley Tisdale's Back In High School

Ashley Tisdale who only had one nose job is on set in Utah filming High School Musical 3. What the hell can you say about High School Musical? Um, would you rather it not be a musical? High school musicals suck!

Boo high school musicals, but you know what's the most magical thing about high school??

The girls stay the same age!! Ok that was only funny till I turned 19 but anyways, here's Ashley on set.

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Refund!

Ashley Tisdale possibly had a second nose job done recently. Which is unfortunate because that sexy little lolly pop nose was hot! Can you get a refund on messed up plastic surgery? Look bitch, what you did to my face!

I don't know though: I say no worries. Sexy's on the inside. Nothing's perfect and deviated septums can be beautiful to. What's unsexy is stressin'!

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And You Give Blondes A Bad Name

Shot through the heart! Ashley Tisdale is blonde by bleach and in love. I'm more in love with her dog's hair but how can you really compete with a poodle. Ashley speaks: "It suits my personality. I guess I was a brunette with a blonde personality. At first it was really shocking and I didn't know what to think, it felt like another person in the mirror. But now I am comfortable with it."

But Ashley is wrong! It fits her personality like condoms fit my wallet. Forgot that shit! Blondes don't always have more fun: "I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't go clubbing so a lot of those problems go away."

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New Ashley Tisdale Dolls!

Wow, creepy little Ashley. Ashley Tisdale is coming out with new dolls, dressed like her from her music videos and red carpet. You can pet it, pull it's hair out, rename it, whatever. So. Much. Fun!

If you want one, go to Wal-Mart on March 1st. I'm waiting for the new Vanessa dolls. They're naughty!

Here's Ashley wearing doll clothes.

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Ashley Tisdale: My Boobs Are Fine

Ashley Tisdale says there's no way she's getting a boob job, despite a bunch of rumors claiming she wants to bust up her bammers. Ashley, who really likes her new nose, says through her rep that Star Magazine's claim she will be visiting the boob doc soon are "completely false."

Oh well.

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That's Me Bashing Ashley Tisdales's Boyfriend In The Face!

Bash! That's for the California pants now gimme your girlfriend!

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