They Grow Up So Fast!

Not the kids. The boobies! But yeah, the kids these days. Whatever happened to simple things like shoulder-tapping booze or riding a bicycle! Now they're just getting pregnant and married. I guess it doesn't really matter since Ashlee Simpson is like 23 and she doesn't really need to shoulder-tap anymore. But still! It's the point!

Anyways yeah so Ashlee looks way pregnant and Pete's taking notice. He says he was a wreck for a while but now everything's starting to be cool:

"Nervous ... the first time I ever went to the doctor's office. But after hearing the baby's heartbeat, I felt totally content and at peace with everything. It feels good."

Yeah that's what all guys say. He's still a wreck. 

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Honor Alba!

Jessica Alba had her baby daughter, Honor Marie Warren, yesterday. Congratulations. But I can't believe they are really going to name the baby Honor Warren. If the baby knew english it'd be screaming. Screaming! There's no way that baby doesn't want to be called Honor Alba. I mean she can explain she's Jessica's daughter. But even if the baby's butt ugly in high school, and named Alba, she'll get so much tail. For the mom! Alba will only be 43 when her daughter is 16. But she's probably not even going to be butt ugly. So it's like double awesome! Honor's hot, and you can go home and stare at her mom!

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Parties With Supermodels!

Alessandra Ambrosio had her baby shower yesterday. It's not exactly a party, but it seems like a baby shower could be a pretty good time. If you're a guy at a baby shower do you know how sensitive you look? Way! You don't even have to really do anything. Just make  cocktails with umbrellas or something. And all the girls have making babies on their minds. Not that making babies is a rocking party, but you know. Working at it is. I've never actually been to a baby shower but it's a goal. Anyways here's Alessandra.

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Jessica Alba Pregnant. And Floating In A Bikini!

Does she even need a pool float!? I swear Alba can float without it. All you'd probably see is a belly and a head, but she'd float! Jessica Alba was caught in her bikini by some pap or something. She's going to be pissed. Bad pap. Oh cheer up Alba.

At least she doesn't have like ice cream all over her belly and cheeseburger wrappers all over the place. Or slapping Cash around and pointing at her tits and crying 'if you want any of these you better be more supportive of my needs!' Like getting out of this pool!' 'Cause that would be bad.

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Angelina Jolie Topless.... And Pregnant!

Angelina Jolie just hanging out... and changing, topless and pregnant with twins in France.

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The man has found his calling!

Seriouslyomg: You'll never believe what's brought Tommy Lee and Jane Fonda together.

ICYDK: Shayne Lamas won The Bachelor. Now she's doing the Girl's Gone Wild mag!

Celebslam: Josh Duhamel hooking up with some prostitute.

POTP: Jessica Alba does it silently.

PopBytes: Live! With LC and Pratt.

LAragmag: Brooke Hogan is pissed! Hotter when she's mad...

Yeeeah: Jessica Simpson is no longer a WAGOA.

Celebwarship: Brad Pitt's new tat.

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...And Then He Knocked Up Posh Spice

Popbytes: Victoria Beckham could have a baby in her. If so, it's really little.

Yeeeah: Amy Winehouse is being blackmailed.

Celebitchy: Megan Fox can't come back to Wal-Mart.

POTP: Paris Hilton and her boyfriend partying.

Seriouslyomg: Katie Price and the fam visit the happiest place on earth.

Dailystab: Justin Timberlake has feelings for Miley Cyrus.

Celebwarship: Madonna gets some hot lesbian action on stage.

Bitten: Tom Cruise is on the internet baby.

IDWYL: Miranda Kerr for being hot and smelling good.

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is Really Six Months Pregnant

Alessandra Ambrosio is around six months pregnant if I'm doing my math right. Finger counting isn't that hard so there's a good chance I am.

Where's the baby?? She's frigging skinny! Maybe she's having a midget. Are midget fetus's smaller? Probably not. But have you thought about that before? Who says this place is only for mindless blabber.

(photo source) 

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Denise Richards Is So Damn Cute

Everybody hates Denise Richards for some reason. I don't hate her. How can you hate THAT! Her lovely smiling face, her little cross, pushing the little baby on the swing and sliding down the slide. It's so damn cute! I just want to pet her and give her a treat!

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Ashlee's Not Pregnant, But...

Ashlee speaks! Kind of. Not directly but someone on the set of TRL heard Ashlee Simpson chimin' in on her unborn baby:

"She said that the rumors have been going around for about a year now and if she was pregnant she shoulda had the baby by now."

Just chug from the bottle in public and end the blabbing! It's totally easy. Hey look at me, I'm as lit as a firecracker! It seems this whole thing began with crap like the mags saying Ashlee was spotted with a "fierce bout of what appeared to be morning sickness."

Yeah I have a fierce bout of morning sickness every weekend. Sometimes even sooner. And it ain't from a baby! Unless the bartender was hot!

(Photo Credit: Pretty on the Outside)

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