The Filthiest Fake Britney Spears Sex Tape Yet

Yeeeah: What I love about all the Britney Spears sex tapes are they're always straight filth.

Popbytes: Carmen Electra heating up a card game.

Seriouslyomg: Tommy Lee wants to know! What color panties are on the news anchor.

POTP: Eliot Spitzer's hooker speaks!

Agent Bedhead: Join Hasslehoff's social networking site!

Bitten: Another pill popping lovely lady.

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I <3 U Fake Britney

Poll of the day! Who's hotter, Fake Britney in a bikini or Real Britney in a bikini (see below). Fake Britney looks mildly retarded, but she lives her life as a double. That's hot shit!

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Britney Spears Is Making A New Album

Ok first of all that first picture has nothing to do with any of the rest but I really liked it. I don't know why. It's just really Louisiana meets LA. The rest of the pictures are Britney getting some sun on her Bally's body. And that body is back in the studio recording another album. This time they say her mind is in the right place. Jim Beanz, the guy who produced 'Gimme More' says Brit sucks no longer:

"Everyone has personal stuff, but a true professional doesn't bring it into the studio. Britney is amazing."

BS! Brit brings all kinds of personal stuff into the studio. Like Cheetos and fraps!

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Britney Spears Is Getting Help!

Here's Britney Spears yesterday mocking the Julia Roberts cover of Vanity Fair. Where the f*ck did she get that rose?? Having a rose and Vanity Fair at the same time is either really elegant, or just straight dirty. Because you know she plucked it out of the table vase of the mexican restaurant shes eating at. And you know the mag came from the toilet! Eww just gross.

Anyways Brit has been offered help from none other then Johnny Rotten. Johnny's got a problem and it's Brit! Rotten says he wants to help Britney write a song:

"She has been hurt. And hurt is the root core essence of good music. I haven't written a song for Britney yet but I would love to. I'd like to help out because there's a girl who needs some help."

Punk rock Brit!

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Yes Britney!

Britney Spears was in Costa Rica last weekend enjoying the awesome weather and water.

Good!

Brit needs to ditch that stupid gym in Hollywood and get on the Costa Rican exercise plan. Morning jog, beer, go swimming, beer, have lunch on the beach, beer, go surfing, watch the waves with a beer, go surfing again, eat good food, then dance all night with Guaro!

After a week she'll look like heaven in a bikini.

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The Britney Spears Sex Tape Is Rough

Yeeeah: Britney Spears let Adnan film a sex tape. Whatever - the coolest part is the pink wig gets beat!

Fatback Media: Shania Twain is getting divorced. 

Agent Bedhead: Megan Fox gets the cold shoulder.

Celebwarship: Lily Allen is really drunk.

Allie: Getting knocked up the Heidi Montag way. 

Bitten: Hottest Kelly Ripa picture ever. 

POTP: Charlize Theron's O face. 

Seriouslyomg: Paris Hilton and hats. 

IDWYL: Be very afraid!

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Britney Spears: Pregnant And Smoking Or Fat?

Bally's straight up sucks! Britney Spears is getting fatter more she works out.

She really shouldn't have a problem getting skinny. I could get her skinny in a week. All you need is a lot of time at the beach, and Tecate. Tecate offers fun and then dulls your pain from starvation, and the beach allows you a place to sleep off the dehydration.

It's genius! 

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Fire The Trainer!

It's been one month since Britney Spears has changed her whole lifestyle, started working out every day, eating better blah blah blah. Blah!

Ok, seriously should a 26-year-old who works out every day with the 'best' trainers really have a spare tire? You can go boogie boarding all day and be in better shape!

She doesn't look bad. But she's 26! And a rich pop star. Fire Bally's, and call Jackie!

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She Made The List!

Britney Spears made it! It was close but Brit came in at number 100 on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World. I agree. Out of 100 she's on there. Number one of course is Megan Fox. She wears Motley Crue shirts and poses with pigs - I'll toast to that.

A few other eye catchers: Posh Spice is number 99. Somebody at FHM needs to be fired. But nobody really gets Posh anyways. Sexy's in the details, asses!

Heidi Montag is number 44 and Lauren Conrad didn't even make the list. Heidi is hot like a lighter and LC can lose five pounds. So I agree.

Vanessa Hudgens is number 26 and she's barely legal. But that's cool, and Ashley Tisdale didn't make the list. There's going to be some slutting on set of HSM3 tomorrow because you KNOW she's not letting this get away. But like I said, this list is dumb. Tiz is hot. Let it be.

The Olly Girls are on here! WTF! Just because they're skanks doesn't mean they're sexy. There's five chicks downstairs of my place in the bar that look just like them. People bone hookers every night but that doesn't mean they should be on a list!

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Bally's Sucks

Bally's Total Fitness blows ass! The company has Brit Brit working out everyday with two of their top personal trainers. Plus they hooked up Britney with one of their nutritional experts, who's stuffing Britney with six healthy meals a day, according to TMZ.

Well after a week, Britney has a nice greasy shine. She doesn't look like she lost any weight, but she does look like if you touch her, you'll need to wash your hands.

Being all slimey is cool though! But it has to be Saturday or Sunday morning. And you have to smell like booze. And you have to be really thirsty. And close to a shower or the ocean. Ahh I'm already shivering knowing the weekend is near.

UPDATE: Ok so I added some pics of Britney getting the fit on yesterday. I might have been a little too hard on Bally's before. She looks nice n clean.

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