Batman's Mom Is Pissed

Christian Bale says his mom and sister are nuts! Well not really, but he says he's innocent of abusing them in a hotel room. And he's sure of it! Like Batman once said, "In the end, veracity and rectitude always triumph." I have no clue what that means but Batman said it, so of course it's true! Christian even turned himself into jail early to clear things up. Why? Well, he's Batman and like Batman said, "Better three hours too soon than a minute too late." Plus Batman can't be bothered with this sitting in jail stuff. Remember: "No time to tarry, lest we forget, lives are at stake."

Ok enough Batman quotes. Christian's spokesperson really says this:  "Christian Bale attended a London police station today, on a voluntary basis, in order to assist with an allegation that had been made against him to the police by his mother and sister. Mr. Bale, who denies the allegation, co-operated throughout, gave his account in full of the events in question and has left the station without any charge being made against him by the police. At this time, there will be no further comment by Mr. Bale."

So far no one knows what pissed mom off. But I do know if mommy sent me to jail for something dumb she's getting no mother's day card next year. Ok maybe I could forgive. She's mom!

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Don't Screw With Axl Rose

He might look all nice and friendly shaking hands with a kangaroo, but he'll sick the police on your ass! Roling Stone says a man who leaked nine songs from the Chinese Democracy album got surprise visit from the FBI at his job. And then they wanted to go to his house. Blogger Kevin Skwerl who publishes Antiquiet is the guy who posted the songs:

“It was kind of an ambush. When I came back from lunch they were waiting in the lobby for me. It’s a little creepy they know where I work.”

Then they went to search his house: 

“I wasn’t sure if they were going to come by with a warrant and trash the place, like in the movies.”

They didn't. They just asked for the files and left. Then a guy from the record label called and made him take everything down, which he did. And that's the end.

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You Won't Get Raped Here!

There's no party like an I just off of rape charges party! Rikki Rockett isn't being charged with rape anymore so he's throwing a motorcycle rally and concert. It's only $11 and they're serving hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, cole slaw and beans! No rapists, and food. The best party in town!

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Naomi Faces Six Months Behind Bars!

This is why you don't spit on cops. They hate that! Naomi Campbell has been charged for spitting on an officer, shouting dirty racial names, fighting, and throwing a massive piss in a terminal at Heathrow. See: don't be nuts. Now Naomi now faces FIVE counts of bad things. If convicted she faces up to six months in jail:

- three counts of assaulting a constable

- one count of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress

- one count of using threatening or abusive words or behaviour to cabin crew 

Of course she's still pissed. Even more pissed. Don't be around Naoms today! Her lawyer has spoken:

"Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously." 

Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

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Fourteen Minutes That Are Gone Forever...

Scott Weiland's out! After Fourteen minutes! If you put on the live version of Free Bird, it would end right when the guards opened the door and let him go. Seriously I looked it up.

See! Guards like good music. They know what's up. Lock away like Flo Rida, cause that guy sucks.

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Amy Winehouse Is Busted

Amy Winehouse is in jail - again! The law says she's been caught with an ilegal substance. I'm going with crack. Although it could just be a fat joint she lit up outside of interrogation last time. They hate that shit! Anyways Scotland Yard has something to say:

“A 24-year-old woman of the Camden area has today been arrested in connection with the possession of a controlled drug. She remains in custody.”

Oh damn. That doesn't sound good. Unpleasentness for Winehouse!

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Don't Write On Russian Wallpaper

Paris Hilton was banned from the Hyatt in Moscow for writing her name on the wallpaper.

Ummm. What the fuck was Paris HILTON doing at the HYATT? Screw getting banned, I'd just hating coming home to mommy and daddy. That chick's nuts! The last thing I wanna deal with is Kathy coming at me, all lit up on vodka, lipstick all over the place, yelling. Ahh. 

So anyways Paris supposedly was fined $9,000 and got a lifetime ban for the vandalism: "Miss Hilton ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite. In such a case the client automatically goes on the black list."

Well at least her place is only  17 minutes from the Hyatt. And it looks pretty nice.

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Tased For Pennywise

No way I'm getting tased for Pennywise! I'll listen to Bro Hymn on the radio. But that's what happened last weekend when hundreds of Pennywise fans were stopped from seeing the Long Beach concert by police. Five people are in the hospital. According to a witness the police got pissed quick:

They were hitting people with clubs, and you couldn't back up fast enough. I saw this man get Tased, 40- or 50-year-old man, just get Tased. His eyes were stone cold.

'Cause that shit hurts! The police spokesperson says the riot began after some people in the crowd started throwing bottles at officers. Check out the video HERE.

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Pete Doherty In His Five Star Cell

Pete's room isn't very five star! Even though I think they let him bring his own shoes in. Check those mad kicks! Somebody sneak pic'd Pete Doherty on their camera phone. His room doesn't look very plush, but that jacket is pretty sick. It's way nicer then orange. And so they say he's doing heroin in jail. The newspaper knows this but not the guards:

"He hasn’t received his prison wage yet so he’s getting the drugs on credit and writing IOUs."

That's a plus! A positive. Not only do you get to sell your drugs to Doherty, but you get an autograph. Stoked: "He usually signs his name next to a scribbled smiley face with a trilby." I want a tribley graph.

Plus after you sell him the smack, you can take a few camera phone pics and sell 'em to the paper. It's win-win-win!

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Mick Jones Is Calling

Mick Jones of The Clash is chiming in on Pete Doherty rotting away in his five star jail cell: "He's a lovely, sweet guy who's been trying really hard to sort himself out. Jail isn't going to sort him out. I mean there are more drugs inside prison than there are out."

Yeah but he can't be on YouTube! And no cat house! They're probably starving to death in that den. Let Pete out for the pussies!

Mick produced both of The Libertines albums and the first Babyshambles album.

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