Something To Get Past Crappy Tat Of The Week

 Just see below. I know all of you boy's and girl's eyes are scared from the merman penis fountain.

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Last Time I Did That I Got Bitch Slapped!

Celebslam: Audrina Patridge goes shopping.

Dlisted: Denise Richards kids are already going to therapy.

POTP: Nicole Richie's kid has a mohawk.

Websters: Matt Damon gets tropical.

Agentbedhead: Jennifer Garner-Ben Affleck breaking up.

HolyMoly: New Oasis album is out! Soon...

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Karolina's Garbage Bag Of Cottage Cheese

Not to be mean, but the first thing I thought when I saw these pictures of Karolina Kurkova, was 'wow, what a big fat cow. She better not start shaking 'cause that jello'll never stop!'

Well not really. But when Karolina did this show last weekend at San Paulo Fashion Week critics immediately said she looked horrible with her "back fat, love handles and cellulite." And that she's "uncharacteristically chubby with "cellulite on her butt."

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Just Shooosh!

Brooke Hogan says it's totally cool for daddy Hulk to rub sunscreen up in her junk. Eighteen years ago he used to clean the poop, so obviously it's totally normal to oil it up today:

"I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!"

What the fuck is it with this family and cars! 

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Guess That Ass

Who's butt is that walking up the stairs?? She recently admitted she hires a body double because she thinks it's way too fat. On set of a recent film, an insider listened in: "She was quite open on the set about not liking her body and said she particularly loathed her bottom and was not comfortable baring it." Click Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere to find out.

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It's Kate Beckinsale!

Kate Beckinsale and her 'fat' ass.

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I Really Am Trying To Stop Posting Naked Pics Of Marisa Miller. I Am!

Blemish: Last Marisa Miller post of the day. I swear!

Collegehumor: These guys have a lot of time.

Yeeeah: Whose cottage cheese legs?

Seriouslyomg: Marky Mark says no to Ocean's 11, 12, 13...

POTP: Jessica Simpson gets ripped on by PETA

Agent Bedhead: Posh gets ripped on by an ex-boyfriend.

Fatback: Anne Hathaway is single.

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See Kimmy K Swim

Kim Kardashian and the fam are in Monaco promoting their dumb show and hanging out with royalty in palaces. They've already met Prince Albert, the Prime Minister and Mel B. Oh and one of the midgets with the lollypops from The Wizard of Oz. It's pretty much a circus freak show. Anyways so here's Kim and her sis going for a swim with the paps.

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Eat My Poop!!

I'd want a chocolate rack way before a chocotate ass, but that's just my preference. Boobs are pretty nice. And actually instead of chocolate I'd go for prime rib. Mmmmmm!! Anyways Hef's girl Kendra explains how the playmates went off for his 82nd birthday party. Before the gang bang, they did something really special for the geez:

"We gave him chocolate body parts. We molded our body parts and gave it to him, and he ate them all."

"I molded my ass, so I could call it 'chocolate starfish. It was white chocolate, and I put a dark chocolate little thing right in the middle. You'll see it on the show coming up."

And you know she named her Chocolate Starfish ass after the Limp Bizkit album and not theaussie band, right. Bizkit forever!

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Gemma Atkinson Can Shoot Bikini Calenders and Save Animals At The Same Time

Gemma Atkinsin is pretty much one of those people that come around only once in a century, or so. Like Columbus or David Lee Roth. Gemma is not only a 2009 WAG Calender girl or whatever she's shooting but she also just recused a dying helpless ape from abuse. And not just any ape. A chimp! They throw poop like no other! I even heard they wack off once! I mean they probably wack off many times, but I heard it once. The creature is named Bryan:

Bryan, who is five, was rescued from the Mexican beach resort of Cancun last year. He was being trained as a beach photographer's prop, his teeth had been knocked out to stop him biting tourists and he was regularly beaten.

Miss Atkinson said: "We have adopted Bryan, who was being kept by a beach photographer. We are delighted to help out. This is a brilliant cause... and we only hope that other people jump on board and adopt."

So their you have it: a true British hero. Here's our hero at work.

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