David Beckham Talks Penis

Agent Bedhead: David Beckham talks weeners and beans.

Seriouslyomg: Have you ever seen this many boobs at work? Sorry, AMAZING BOOBS at work.

Co-Ed: Speaking of boobs, here's a bunch of reasons why smaller is better.

Collegehumor: Rick Springfield and his drunken friends blasting Jessie's Girl.

Yeeeeah: Audrina Patridge and her floating devices.

POTP: Who punched Jessica Biel in the face?

Celebwarship: Even more of The Beckhams!

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...And Then He Knocked Up Posh Spice

Popbytes: Victoria Beckham could have a baby in her. If so, it's really little.

Yeeeah: Amy Winehouse is being blackmailed.

Celebitchy: Megan Fox can't come back to Wal-Mart.

POTP: Paris Hilton and her boyfriend partying.

Seriouslyomg: Katie Price and the fam visit the happiest place on earth.

Dailystab: Justin Timberlake has feelings for Miley Cyrus.

Celebwarship: Madonna gets some hot lesbian action on stage.

Bitten: Tom Cruise is on the internet baby.

IDWYL: Miranda Kerr for being hot and smelling good.

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Singles Not Invited

Boo! Posh Spice threw her 34th birthday last night at Via Veneto in Santa Monica, with 31-year-old David on her chicken arm. Who ever knew David was two years younger then her? He turns 32 on May 2nd. Anyways, so if you ever want to come to Posh's party make sure you have a date. 'Cause you're not picking anyone up by the punch bowl. On Posh's guest list were Tom and Katie Cruise, Will and Jada Smith, Gavin and Gwen Stefani, and Kate I eat pussy before sushi Beckinsale and her husband.

Where's Baby Spice! I wanna party with Baby!

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David Beckham Is An Ass Man!

The Blemish: Posh does need the pads! Becks likes the butts.

Seriouslyomg: Katie Price and Peter humping on TV.

Yeeeah: Lindsay Lohan for the lord!

POTP: Heidi talks hate.

WIMB: Evan Rachel Wood better like feet sex.

Bitten: Katie hates Tom!

Celebwarship: Naomi Campbell bleeds.

Wendy: Hayden Panetwhatever gets pissed!

Dailystab: Paris Hilton is only 'sweet and caring.'

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Posh Wants A Bigger Ass!

Posh is padding her ass! Yeah right, but that's what Now is saying. Supposedly Victoria isn't happy with her bony little butt and thinks stuffing Spanx in her jeans will make Davy B happy:

"Victoria never had much of a bottom and has always felt it's too skinny. So she came up with this idea of padding out her jeans."

"Victoria says David is a real bum man and she thinks the Spanx idea will work. David will love it."

Because that's what David wants! Squeezing Spanx is exactly like the real thing. My god at least get butt cheek implants. Don't you remember THIS SEXY BEEEHIND.

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Private Beckham Reporting For Party

Ha! Ha! Ha!

I realize it's tough being David Beckham. You need to come up with a new haircut every couple weeks. But the GI Beckham is one of those ideas like Tommy Lee making solo albums, and singing. It's like WTF was I thinking! Get Naked?? Come on boi!

So yeah, here's Beckham at a party last night for Pele. Becks gave the speech.

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More Enlighting Than A Public Bathroom Wall

David Beckham's body is like a rest stop loo without the glory hole. Oh wait! That's not true! Anyways, there's heaps of awesome quotes in there like 'Life is not a problem to be solved,' 'Bush sucks,' and 'for some hot ass dial Diane.' Heaps! But Becks art tops it all.

His new tattoo, etched in Chinese cursive, says “Death and life have determined appointments. Riches and honour depend upon heaven.” Which is exactly true. 

Another note to self is the reminder “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” And last but not least, in Hindi, he has one lovely word penned on his arm: "Victoria." Sublime.

Source

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Protect The Goldenballs

David Beckham still wants to have another kid. So no freekick to the nuts, ok.

More of Becks grabbing his balls HERE. 

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Rebecca Loos Is Riding The Goat Boat

Rebecca Loos has downgraded! Like that's very hard after affairing with David Beckham. Loos was spotted with spotted with some guy in Hyde Park. Not to be mean to the guy. He's probably super cool. Like Silent Bob. And actually they never even held hands, so it's probably not even that cool to bring him up and bash him for no reason. Oh well. Rebecca, who is trying to start her pop career with a single called Your Boyfriend about a girl who steals other girls boyfriends, is a dumb ho anyways.

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Beckham Blahgs

David Beckham speaks! I think he still believes Americans will eventually care about soccer. He's stoked on it so we'll let it be. No buzzkills. Here's Beckham:

Hi everyone,

Well, I’ve arrived in Hawaii along with the Galaxy squad and I can already see it’s an amazing place. The beaches are beautiful and everyone is so friendly, so we’re definitely going to enjoy our time here.

We’re here to play in the Pan-Pacific Championships and looking to get our fitness in these games. We’ve had three weeks of pre-season training, so it’s just a case of getting match fit now. I know the team are looking forward to getting on the pitch again, so Wednesday’s game can’t come soon enough. Hopefully, we’ll get the right result and look to get some consistency going into the new season.

We’re playing the Japanese side Gamba Osaka in our opening game and I’m sure it’ll be a tough match. Whenever I’ve played against Japanese teams in the past I’ve always been really impressed by them.

I’d like to welcome Greg Vanney to the squad. He’s a great defender and having played for the Galaxy before I’m sure he’ll have no trouble adapting.
Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ll let you know all about how the tournament went next time.

David

Update: They lost. Beckham and the Galaxy lost 1-0 to the Japanese team. And Beckham got in a fight.

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