Noel Talks Getting Beat

Noel Gallagher got whooped on the other night and now he's writing about it. The guy ran up on stage and pushed him onto an amp and it bruised his ribs and stuff (watch the video here). He snuck through Oasis' top security team like a sneaky little dude. Noel explains his side of the story:

"Someone, who can only be described as a 'Canadian', was able to get onstage, somehow managed to evade our crack security team and assaulted my mid-riff."

"Can't say much more than that as the 'perpetrator''s gonna get the book thrown at him. Repeatedly. It was all going so well up until that point'n'all."

"Feel like I've had a sparring session with [Manchester boxer] Ricky Hatton. Still, we'll probably get an extra couple of days in NYC. Every cloud, eh?"

There's always these pirates that won't just simma down. Relax and don't go pushin' people, yo!

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