Fucking Noel Gallagher Has A Fucking Christmas List

Here's what Noel Gallagher asked Santa for Christmas:

“I’d like an iPhone, a laptop, a new haircut and a Christmas card that didn’t say fucking Noel on the front. That would be fucking nice. Just one year. I always get this shit, right. And people go, ‘Did you get my card?’ And you go, ‘I dunno, which one was that?’ ‘Oh, you must’ve seen it. It had Noel written on the front.’ ‘Really, and how many of those do you think I get?’ That’s right. All of them. They all end up at my fuckin’ house. ‘Oh, there’s a card with my name on it, brilliant. That’s from my parents. I’ll thank them again for that.’ Fuckin’ pair of idiots.”

I think he got coal in his stocking.