Train Kept A Rollin' All Night Long

The Blemish: James Blunt and his friends go boating.

Dlisted: Amy Winehouse is the new Dr. Drew.

Seriouslyomg: Katie Price is a dancer.

Yeeeah: Britney Spears in a bikini.

LARagmag: So much drama at The Hills!

Bastardly: Ali Larter is getting drunk!

POTP: Some big hoochie in a bikini.

Bitten: Hayden cut all her hair off.

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It's The Hot New Trend!

Old married rich guys affairing with hot young hotties! Actually that's not a new trend at all. But at least guys used to try and keep it secret! Now it's just kinda like a big party. Oh well. So yeah here's Sienna Miller and her married, father-of-four, millionaire boyfriend Balthazar Getty on a romantic boatride last weekend. Oh yeah, if you didn't notice Sienna's the only topless one in the boat. That picture without the little squggly lines is right heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

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Sex With Schiffer

Doesn't it suck to know this is the closest you're ever going to get to sex with Claudia Schiffer? This, SEX by Testino, is a collection of photographs featured in the new German Vogue. It's actually nothing like how I picture sex aside from Claudia. Testino is tweaked! I left out the pics with the little dog for good reason. None of that shizz on this site.

Keep it clean!!

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Sex Education with Hayden Panettiere

Yeeeah: Back when she wasn't 18, Hayden Panettiere perfected kissing on girls.

Dlisted: Naomi Campbell wants babies.

INF: Anna Kournikova parties.

Bitten: Another Disney Girl acts like a teenage girl, but some people think it's just hoing out in a bikini.

POTP: David Beckham's man on man moment.

Seriouslyomg: Courtney Cocks is out! Of work.

Agent Bedhead: Pete Doherty like you've never seen him before.

CelebritySmack: All the pedo's are writing Nick Hogan love letters.

IDWYL: Megan Fox on set of Transformers 2.

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C. MaSheen For Hookers

Charlie Sheen has needs! Four girl at one time needs! According to Page Six, one night last year Charlie paid $20,000 for a couple hours with four hookers. When the girls showed up at the door Charlie was standing in the doorway in a silk robe embroided with C. MaSheen on the pocket. Here's the deal as told by madam Nici, who delivered Sheen his women:

"One day, according to Nici, the unthinkable happened: Charlie Sheen answered an ad. It was the Holy Grail of escorting, the Hollywood connection that can make or break a service. When Nici dropped four girls off at his penthouse, she found the actor in silk pajamas with 'C. MaSheen' embroidered over the pocket. Sheen gave her a $20,000 check for the girls, and she picked them up several hours later."

What happened to Mrjonze55! Actually that's probably the number one rule of dirty paid-for sex. Always use a different name for porn chatrooms then the one you use when buying whores. Then it's not cheating! Don't piss off your whores!

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Kristin Cavallari Fights For Her Virginity!

Their are no senior virgins. It's true! There are more Dodo birds on Earth, but anyways that's how Kristin Cavallari will roll in her next movie: a high school senior virgin. But she wants to end that trend with the football team kicker. Wow. Until she finds out he's a dick:

The plot revolves around a high school senior who has decided to lose her virginity to her boyfriend, who serves as the kicker on the high school football team. However, she changes her mind when she finds out her man only wants to deflower her so he can get some props in the team's "Bang Book." Upon discovering his intention, she sets about plotting her revenge.

The sad thing is there are actually losers out there with bang books or whatever. Who cares that much? So what? I say, if you can remember the name long enough to write it in a book, you suck.

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Bar Refaeli And Petra Nemcova For Sex Slaves!

Sex slavery is not a joke. Unless your sex slaves are Bar Refaeli and Petra Nemcova. Then it's like winning the lottery!

Seriously though, I just learned how bad the sex trade industry actually is. About one million girls age 9-15 are sold every year. And over 17, 500 of them are sold in the U.S. Some people are just dicks! The Somaly Mam Foundation put on the sex slave party last night, attended Bar and Petra. Here's their MySpace page. Friend 'em.

And here's Bar and Petra just being awesome.

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Camila's Stoked To Be The One!

Matthew McConaughey wants to die during sex. 'Cause his dad did. While boning his mom. And he's stoked on it! Here's Matt:

"My father died right after making love to his wife, and I can't think of a better way to go. My dad always said to me, 'Boy when I get out of here, I bet you I'll be making love to your mother.' I hope my own death is way down the line, but when it happens, that's my preferred exit strategy. But let's not rush it, eh?"

Yeah boning an old lady is awesome! I can't wait!

Well geez, if you're going to die right after sex at least you can hire a million dollar 20-year-old whore. Yeah, I'll write you a check! 

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Yes, That Is The Head Of Formula One, Naked, Getting Whipped By A Women In A Nazi Costume

NinjaDude: Max Mosley is one of the richest guys in England. He's also on the front page of the newspaper naked in a sex torture room.

Evil Beet: One of the girls from 'My Super Sweet 16' is in big trouble.

Yeeeah: Amy Winehouse gets free custom Cavalli forever.

CSB: Cindy Crawford hottness.

Seriouslyomg: Ricky Schroder has a kid that's oranger than the oompa loompas.

POTP: Jennifer Love Hewitt is pregnant, damn it!

Wendy: Chloe Sevigny is hiding.

IDWYL: Posh and her bammers.

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Sophie Monk-Kristen Cavallari Hot Lesbo Sex Action!

Fire! Kristen Cavallari and Sophie Monk ran into each other at the gym yesterday. Then they started getting hot and sweaty! Making out, feeling each other up! Insane! Like that scene in Wild Things but blonde. Blondes in tights rule!

Maybe it wasn't that dramatic but close. Stick me in the middle!

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